Grandmother (I never called her Grandma or other nickname) lived next door to us in Marshall, MO for a few years. What I can’t work out is exactly when; I’m guessing about 1959 or 1960.
My telescoped recollection of my grandparents fits into Before Granddad Died and After Granddad Died And I Stayed With Grandmother From Time to Time. Granddad passed on in 1962, Grandmother in 1965, so I had her undivided attention for about two and a half years. My favorite activity with her was playing Scrabble which we started doing maybe when I was about eight. I will always be grateful for that game, and for Dad and Grandmother prompting us kids to spell or name the continents or point to a place on a map or answer a question about American history.
Scrabble gave me a fine appreciation for words. We used an old Webster’s dictionary for challenges which did not have a lot of Scrabble-inspired words in it. We didn’t challenge each other often, because we were both excellent spellers. Oh! How I lived for those 25-point words!
One funny and endearing memory is of Grandmother making me sandwiches of bread, butter, and sugar, or sometimes, jam. She held her finger to her lips and told me it would be our secret. Why? Grandmother was diabetic, a fact she did not hide, but instead, she gave herself insulin shots in front of me. She knew that sugar sandwiches were perhaps not the best diet for her health, but the fun in eating them and having a secret outstripped any concern.
Less endearing was the fact that when I spent the night with her (several times after Granddad died), she required me to kneel on the floor to say my prayers, aloud with her listening; she made me go to the bathroom to “empty your bladder” before bed; and she would not let me wear my socks to bed like I usually did.
Another pastime with Grandmother was of her showing me her photo album. It likely belonged to her mother or even grandmother, given the age and condition of it. She went through the album, telling me who was who, but sadly, I do not remember any of them, and she did not label any of the photos. I have a hope of someday identifying them, but that will take some collaboration with others. The album long ago fell apart. Mom took the cover and made it into a photo frame with Jennie’s wedding photo in it, a possession I took with me through all my moves and kept on my desk until the cover started to fall apart, too.
Grandmother, as father noted in his memoirs, was intellectual and ambitious. Where did she get such drive?
Jennie May Stark was the oldest of four children born to Orval Stark and Hester Ann Gardner. She always reminded me that her middle name was spelled M-A-Y, and that a teacher of hers would say “No, Jennie cannot do that, but Jennie MAY do so,” laughing about her middle name. Grandmother loved to tell that one, as I heard it on several occasions, but I admit I never forgot her middle name.
In my imagination, life would have been roses for the Stark family had Hester Ann lived, but when Jennie was five, her mother was gone. After her death, it seems Jennie’s father struggled.
Jennie grew up, for the most part, on her grandparents’, James K. and Sevilla Stark’s farm. I have photos where she looks like she is having fun. Though she apparently did not mention it to her son H. L. DuBois, Jennie attended Chillicothe high school long enough to graduate from there. Newspaper articles give the impression Jennie was new to town and not well known there where her father was engaged in manufacturing bricks and other things. The newspaper mentions Jennie’s “parents”, plural, so perhaps she did have an unrecognized stepmother for a time. (She never mentioned a stepmother to her son and only spoke of growing up at her grandparents’ farm.) See Orval’s separate entry.
The Chillicothe newspaper for 1909 (when Jennie graduated from high school) also lists Jennie as being part of a committee who organized Memorial Day activities. She is shown last on a lengthy, non-alphabetized list, and other articles from the paper seem to snub or mention her only in passing. I wonder at the role Jennie’s father’s reputation or various occupations played.
Jennie had two younger brothers, Jay K. (possibly named after his grandfather James K. Stark), and John Thomas (possibly named after a maternal uncle and maternal grandfather); her sister Mary Ann did not live past infanthood. Jennie was particularly close with Jay; I remember how she lit up upon seeing him when he visited while attending Grandfather DuBois’ funeral. The two were only a year apart in age.
Newspaper articles show that Jennie gave speeches about temperance while in college and in the same year, her brother was in high school debating. I have Jennie’s Women’s Christian Temperance Union pin which was a prize for speaking on the subject.
Jennie graduated with a Bachelor of Arts and Science at the University of Missouri in 1913. She is listed as being part of the “Livingston Club,” her high school being a part of the county of the same name. However, she is absent from the photo of the club in the 1913 Savitar, the yearbook for the university which is in keeping with the hometown newspaper inferring she did not quite belong. The Chillicothe newspaper did state she attended school, post-graduate, at the University of Missouri in 1916, perhaps in pursuit of gaining her teaching certificate.
[Note: History repeated itself. I, too, lived off-campus in Columbia while obtaining my bachelor’s degree in Arts and Science at the University of Missouri, joined no clubs nor sororities, participated in no athletics, but was in strong pursuit of a career. There is a photo of Jennie in her graduation cap and gown, an arm propped on one of the iconic University columns; 69 years later, I copied her pose when in my cap and gown, hair atop my head like she had done, even wearing wire-rimmed glasses like hers.]
Jennie went on to teach high school in Warsaw, Missouri, and that is where she met the handsome young widower minister of her Methodist church, Rev. HHS
(“Slaton”) DuBois. She married him June 20, 1918, taking on the responsibility of raising his daughter Martha.
Being a Methodist minister’s wife probably suited Jennie very well. She was a devoted member of the denomination. As a bright teacher, Jennie may have helped her husband in his career in many ways but educating their children likely was her primary mission.
William Slaton DuBois was born in May, eleven months after marriage, and Hubert Lee followed eighteen months later.
Dad told me Grandmother taught the children their first piano lessons from articles in the newspaper on the subject. Martha and my father (and maybe Bill, too?) were accomplished pianists, and Martha became a piano teacher. The children were beneficiaries of piano lessons given by teachers who traded lessons for eggs which were given to the family by parishioners. The children played piano and organ for church and other activities.
After the children were grown and gone, at some point Jennie resumed teaching. She proudly retained photos of her classes, and she kept up with her students later in life. She was a prolific writer of letters and collector of newspaper articles on her extended family and network of friends.
As one whose responsibility it was to pack up the family for their frequent moves through the many small towns Slaton DuBois was posted to, Jennie forwent taking extra clothing and furniture in favor of her photo album, mementos from growing up (I have a few), and her Bible (also in my possession.)
I always viewed Grandmother as a happy, kind person who took great interest and pride in her children and grandchildren, but also her students, family, and friends. For one who had only been in the community a few short years, many from far and wide attended her funeral and wrote condolences notes.
Though she was one who lived frugally, she left some money to her son which enabled him, in part, to purchase the house we all so loved for many years. To me, she left two things: a savings bond to be used for a metronome for my piano lessons (I used it for years thereafter); and the Reader’s Digest Books for Young Readers series. From those books, I was introduced to Charlotte Bronte and Jane Austen at the age of ten, being forever influenced by them.
Jennie was only 73 when she died two years after her husband who had been 84. Though I always saw her as an optimistic person with a joy for life, it was little surprise she so soon followed Slaton on home.
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